Your heart is heavy. You’re having difficulty sleeping and often all you can think about is the passing of your loved one. You’re even experiencing the stages of grief, even though your loved one is still alive. 

This is very common and is referred to as anticipatory grief. What is anticipatory grief? It is the emotional and physical reactions that occur when you sense that a loss is coming, even though that loss has yet to occur. Anticipatory grief is not limited to the death of a loved one. I can also apply to job loss, health problems or the deterioration of a serious relationship. 

At 3HC, we have helped hundreds of families who are experiencing anticipatory grief. We understand that it is a common and normal occurrence, and it’s vital to develop healthy coping strategies. That’s why we offer extensive grief care services for patients and their families across North Carolina. We encourage you to get care now.

Next, we’ll examine what anticipatory grief is, outline some effective coping strategies and list some useful resources. 

What Is Anticipatory Grief and What Are the Symptoms of Anticipatory Grief?

We touched on this briefly earlier, but to elaborate, anticipatory grief is when you have cognitive, emotional and behavioral symptoms you experience in anticipation of loss. These signs begin before your loved one dies or before the traumatic event occurs.

 The symptoms of anticipatory grief can include:

• Fear
• Anger
• Difficulty controlling emotions
• Anxiety
• Loneliness (and isolation)

Those with anticipatory grief may also wonder what their life would be like without their loved one, or even develop an intense preoccupation with the one who is dying. 

What Are the Stages of Anticipatory Grief?

While you may have heard of the “traditional” stages of grief after a loss, the stages of grief can differ, particularly if you are the primary caregiver. In anticipatory grief, the stages involve:

• Acceptance: Realizing that your loved one’s death is inevitable.  This phase can also involve periods of sadness, anger and denial.
• Reflection: Coming to terms with your feelings about your dying loved one. This can also include feelings of remorse, guilt or anger.
• Rehearsing the death: You may anticipate your feelings immediately after the death or envision what you will do when this loved one is no longer here.
• Imagining the future: Many people try to envision how they are going to navigate the bereavement process.

Who Is Most Likely to Experience Anticipatory Grief?

While caregivers and close family members are the most likely to experience anticipatory grief, others are also at risk for developing it. Those include:

• The person facing their own death or major loss
• Friends and extended support networks
• Healthcare providers and professionals

What Are the Signs of Anticipatory Grief?

In addition to the symptoms listed above, there are behavioral and physical signs of anticipatory grief. They include:

• Withdrawal from friends 
• No longer participating in activities once enjoyed
• Sleep difficulties–either insomnia or sleeping too much
• Changes in appetite
• Restlessness
• Agitation
• Fatigue
• Body aches
• Headaches
• Upset stomach

What Are Healthy Ways to Cope With Anticipatory Grief? 

We’ve worked with families across the state to help them process their grief, making the journey with them to recovery. Following are some helpful ways to cope with anticipatory grief.

Validate your feelings

Realize that it is okay to feel this way, and anticipatory grief is very common. Give yourself permission to grieve now, and accept that you will have both good and bad days.

Practice self-compassion

Don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t judge your feelings or whether or not you “should” or shouldn’t feel something. All grief isn’t linear.

Seek help from your support system

In addition to talking to trusted friends or family members, you may also consider joining a support group to help you connect with those who have had similar experiences.

Consider professional counseling

If you have a difficult time processing grief or if it is making it impossible to complete basic tasks of daily living, you may wish to consider counseling, either with a therapist or trusted member of the clergy. 

Prioritize self-care

This means getting adequate sleep, eating nutritious food and continuing to engage in regular physical activity, even if it’s just a walk through the park. 

Limit alcohol

Limit alcohol and other controlled substances during this time.

Practice mindfulness

Meditation, breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation can be helpful. There are several apps available that can help you with this guided practice.

Utilize creative outlets

Journaling, art, writing and poetry can all be creative ways to cope with your anticipatory grief.

At 3HC We Will Support You Through the Emotional Challenges of Anticipatory Grief

When you or someone you love is facing a serious illness, the emotional toll can begin long before any loss occurs. At 3HC, grief counseling is not just about what comes after; it’s also here to help you navigate what comes before. 

Our team of counselors, social workers and chaplains will continually offer compassionate support because your family is a part of our family. 

For decades, we’ve cared for patients and their families across North Carolina. From our beginnings as a small nonprofit, we have expanded to become one of North Carolina’s leading home health and hospice providers.

Are you facing any of the challenges listed above? The earlier you seek help, the more you can work through these intense emotions. We invite you to get care today.