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A Daughter Shares
I visited Kitty Askins in the past when different people I knew were there. But the saying that "you have to wear the shoes" before you can understand the pain is all too true. My mother passed away at Kitty just about a year ago. Now I understand how important a hospice facility such as Kitty Askins is to our community.
We didn't have my father in hospice when he died of cancer. He stayed in the hospital for three weeks. They did a good job of looking after dad, but it was just different than our experience with mom.
When Mother first arrived at Kitty Askins, the staff got her settled into her room. While that was going on, Janet Leeland - the director - brought our family into her office to let us know what we should expect.
They kept mom comfortable. She was clean. And she suffered no pain.
Before coming to Kitty, I was so worn out and stressed that I thought nothing would ever help. But the atmosphere was nice and cozy. Like a home. The rooms each had a name so you knew you weren't in a hospital. Something like that seems so insignificant, but it made such a big difference.
I spent a lot of time sitting in the rocking chair on the front porch. One night at about two in the morning, a mother rabbit brought her two babies out to the mailbox. I was so surprised. They came out every night while we were there. They'd stay for a while and then disappear.
The staff was always one step ahead of the death sequence and they prepared us as well as they could for Mother's death. But no matter how prepared you are intellectually, it's not until your heart knows that it really matters. No one can take away the pain, but they can help you cope with it.
I mean, how do you prepare? I prayed for my mother to go quickly and she did. Now I see my mom in all the things she loved. Like the birds and the flowers. And fountains! She would have loved the fountain that's in front of Kitty Askins now.
The hospice folks stayed in touch with me. All the phone calls meant so much. This was such an important aspect to help me cope. Maybe it was the sixth phone call before I could open up, but when I did, oh boy. I was having such a bad day before the volunteer called me. The timing was just right. She listened and asked me questions that helped me get in touch with so much.
Mother loved giving. She had all these fruit trees that she didn't need. She grew them just to give the fruit away. She was so unselfish - anything you needed she would give or share. So now I tell my friends who are facing the same circumstances to go to Kitty Askins. I share with them that they should ask their doctor about Kitty. I tell them about our experience there with Mother. I really believe this is what Mother would want me to do.
- 3HC -
2402 Wayne Memorial Drive
Goldsboro, NC 27534
919-735-1387
info@3hc.org
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